Kicking & Streaming

Black Swan or: How I Learned Natalie Portman Could Dance Ballet

Ross' barn door is off its hinges this week as we break down one of his top ten favorite films, Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan (2010). Black Swan follows the journey of Nina Sayers who has lofty aspirations of dancing both the Black and White Swans in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, but the part may turn out to be more than she can handle. Ross goes gaga for all the symbolism baked into the crust of the film, Carie is big icked by all of the disgusting body horror as Nina makes her transformation, and the siblings are in awe of the Oscar-winning performance that gave Natalie Portman a seat at the big kids' table. 

Flightplan or: The First Time Ross Was Gaslit by a Film

Continuing with our theme of thrillers for Ross' birthday month, we cover one of his favorites, Flightplan (2005), the movie about how it is in fact possible to lose your child on an airplane. Jodie Foster stars as engine propulsion engineer, Kyle Pratt, who is distraught to awaken to find her daughter missing while on a double decker airplane. Prepare to be gaslit, both on Kyle's behalf and as an audience. Ross fawns over the tone the movie sets up from the jump, Carie gets super jazzed by the fim's catharsis, and the siblings are in collective awe at the amount of airplane specs there are. 

Knowing or: How I Learned to Prophesize the End of the World

What do you get when you combine Nicholas Cage, solar flares, and a meticulous tabulation of every major disaster over the past 50 years? Alex Proyas' Knowing (2009). What starts off as an interesting tale about a little girl who could see the future slowly but surely descends into a otherworldly mess when Nicholas Cage and his Macaulay of a Culkin child team up with Rose Byrne to solve the mystery of a list of numbers left in a time capsule by her mother. Ross defends the movie until he can't, Carie is actually surprised to be feeling things for Nick Cage, and the siblings are once again poised to consider the concept of what the afterlife may actually mean. 

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The West Wing Pilot or: How I Fell in Love with Political Dramas [REBROADCAST]

HI LIL ONIONS! No new episode this week, but we are rerunning an old episode on the pilot of Aaron Sorkin and NBC's The West Wing ahead of our PATREON coverage of the multiple sclerosis scandal arc of the show. Revisiting this episode four years later has left us with one refrain: My how the tables turn...The optimism we feel in this episode has by now turned to disillusionment and despair. But we hope you enjoy this rebroadcast and encourage you to check out our coverage of the MS West Wing arc over on Patreon. We'd love to see more of you over there. Please support us at the link below! 

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Original description:

This week we take a long-winded stab at covering television. Our resident West Wing scholar, Ross, is here to tell us how this show came to be, how it stands up to history, and the craft of Aaron Sorkin. Carie is mostly here to fawn over Robe Lowe. 

Related Media: The West Wing Weekly; 

 

Aladdin or: How I Learned to Beeeeee Myself

**Let's try this again, with the CORRECT export file...

This week, Carie is offending Ross' OCD by choosing a Disney film, Aladdin (1992) despite previous intentions of grouping them together. Carie defends this choice by lauding the amazing performance of her fave, Robin Williams, as the genie. Ross gets frustrated with multiple plot elements that make less than perfect sense, even for a children's film. The siblings get back to the root cause of why the film traumatized Ross in the first place, and then of course the bonus treat of Ross' unsolicited rant about Disney remakes. 

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Related Media: Middle Eastern Oil Lamps

What Dreams May Come or: How I Learned to Navigate the Afterlife

WHO'S READY TO SOB? Seriously, like more than once. This week, in a very trigger-heavy episode, the siblings unpack one of Robin Williams' more devastating films, What Dreams May Come (1998). Carie puts Ross through the emotional woodchipper that is the story of Chris Nielsen and his family's arduous journey from life to death to ACTUAL Hell. Carie has some reading from the book the movie is based upon, Ross completely derails the recording over a Family Guy bit, and the siblings consider what they might look like in the afterlife. 

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Bicentennial Man or: How I Learned Ross Wouldn't Give "Robots" Rights

Celebrate the life and career of the late Robin Williams with us today on a day of remembrance following the date of his death on August 11, 2014. We're talking about Bicentennial Man (1999), the turn-of-the-century film that brings Issac Asimov's 1976 novel to the silver screen. The film follows Andrew, a NDR 114 model android who embarks on a 200 year journey towards becoming human. Carie is understandably endeared by the vulnerable performance of her favorite actor of all time, while simultaneously being annoyed with the pacing and often inelegant writing. Ross is digging his heels in on the hypothetical of robots naturally evolving through what Asimov called "the ghost in the machine," and the siblings accidentally uncover the fact that I, Robot (2004), and Home Alone (1990) occur in the same cinematic universe.

RELATED MEDIA: Isaac Asimov's concept of the Ghost in the Machine 

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Patch Adams or: How I Fell in Love with Pablo Neruda

It's all Robin Williams all the time this August! The siblings kicking off Carie's birthday month with a film about a  charmingly funny and outrageously sad tale of a medical student whose treatment philosophy included a clown nose and laughter, Patch Adams (1998). Ross finds the ethical implications of some of his practices troubling, while Carie gets fussy over certain Hollywood revisions to the real Patch Adams' life story, all while the siblings remember Robin Williams for his deeply dimensional acting prowess. 

Related Media: The Gesundheit! Institute

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Zero Dark Thirty or: How I Learned How to Catch UBM

Ho-boy, major TRIGGER WARNING this week, lil onions. A lot of this is far from palatable. This week, we close out our theme of war-adjacent films with the political action thriller, Zero Dark Thirty (2012). Ross has the down low on Osama Bin Laden, his minions, and their tradecraft. Carie constantly vacillates between boredom and horror. Worst of all, the siblings have the unpleasant experience of reflecting on just how terrible the last two decades have been. 

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War Games or: How to Win at Tic-Tac-Toe

The technology nostalgia is aging us today, lil Onions. This week, we go down another rabbit hole of information technology and artificial intelligence in the suprisingly dated film, War Games (1983). In addition to the archaic methods of hacking and computer science in this film, Ross is also deeply affected by the existence of Matthew Broderick. Carie cautions listeners about the dangers of becoming complacent and apathetic in the face of destruction. There's a special appreciation for a previous generation who lived every day with the threat of a breakdown of society, and the siblings have a conversation about a hypotetical scenario involving themselves, Matthew Broderick, and Jennifer Grey escaping the Earth in an escape pod. 

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